Don’t worry, you’re not seeing this page in error. That’s really a Jerry sporting a sweet-ass mustache. But more importantly, it means…
You’ve Been ‘Stached!
Much like being RickRolled, being ‘Stached is a source of great embarrassment and shame to the one being ‘Stached, only with more of creepy a 1970’s porn vibe. And you have to add your own soundtrack. So yeah, a low rent, awkward sort of embarrassment.
Anyway whoever ‘Stached you deserves to pay. So wipe those tears away, take a long hot shower, and figure out a way to ‘Stache ’em back. It’s quicker and easier than slashing their tires, and less likely to involve prison time. (And being ‘Stached in prison means something much worse.)
- Don’t drink in excess of your usual excess after being ‘Stached.
- Don’t operate motor vehicles or heavy equipment while being ‘Stached.
- Don’t swim for at least an hour after being ‘Stached.
- Consult your doctor to see if you’re healthy enough to be ‘Stached before clicking on any links on twitter or facebook.
- Consult your doctor if being ‘Stached lasts longer than 4 hours.
- Mustaches are not a safe alternative to beards or goatees.
- Women who are pregnant, may become pregnant, or have ever thought about pregnancy should avoid being ‘Stached. I mean, look at the guy. You really want your kids ending up like that?
- Void where prohibited.