Shuttle Designers Studying Jerry’s Head!
NASA rocket scientists have determined that our own Jerry Cruz’s cranium is a marvel of modern science. Plans are in the works at the space exploration organization to build a brand new shuttle based on his head’s distinctive torpedo shape. Studies found that Jerry’s perfectly tapered noggin to be 15% more aerodynamically efficient than latest shuttles on the launch pad. The new design may allow the shuttle to cut through our atmosphere with less fuel, saving thousands of dollars in launch costs. When reached for comment, Jerry said that these developments will not have a significant impact on upcoming cigar reviews. National security concerns will require he wear a hat in videos going forward.
Stock footage of Brian K.O.’ed by cigars
Brian clinically dead for 30 minutes after Arganese Maduro and Dorito bender!
After two straight days of chain smoking Arganese Maduro figurados and eating nothing but Doritos, Brian was found unconscious on the floor of his Atlanta home this Tuesday. He was rushed an area hospital only to be pronounced dead on arrival. After a bizarre but fortunate mishap in the hospital involving a stray cat and a dangling defibrillator, Brian was accidentally resuscitated. He was released that same afternoon after being advised to cut back on the Doritos and take a shower. Brian will remain legally dead through the end of the year for tax purposes.
Walt “hand rolling” a Haban-eroon
Walt lauches MUb cigars in a van down by the river!
Walt White, who recently announced the blending of his own line of very short, large ring gauge cigars, is said to have launched the international sales of the MUb line in a powder blue ’66 Chevy van down by the river. All day Tuesday he will be handing out samples and “hand rolling” cigars for event goers.
The Haban-eroon will retail at $12.50, the Connect-araguan will go for $11.75. The first 10 people to walk up to the van will get their own, personalized MUb lids and blending shears.