This weekend I began to feel a little under the weather. I made it through the weekend and crashed on Monday when I became “Full Blown Sick“. Being completely stuffed up, smoking a cigar would have been a complete waste. Here we are on Friday and I’m just about over whatever has my sinuses all jacked up.
Rather than push it and try smoking a cigar for review today, I spent a little time trying to come up with something instead of a review. With no article / post ideas coming to mind, I decided to take the easy way out and simply post a contest.
The contest I came up with is a result of spending a few days in bed with YouTube to pass the time. I am a fan of Bad Lip Reading. With that said, I wanted to see a little Stogie Review Bad Lip Reading. While I have no delusions that this will turn out like the musical number of Russian Unicorn or Morning Dew, I’d love to see something like the Herman Cain’s Bad Lip Reading.
Below is a muted clip of Mike Forry conducting a review. What I’d like you to do is simply watch the clip and read Mike’s lips. Type out, in the comments section, what you see Mike saying, and you are entered for a chance to win a Stogie Review Travel Humidor.
On March 23, 2012 I’ll select a winner. The winner will be whoever makes me laugh the hardest. I’ll play Mike’s clip and read your entry. Keep in mind, the words have to fit what it looks like Mike is saying. Just putting together some random, weird, stuff isn’t going to cut it.
Who knows, if we get a funny enough entry maybe we can get Brian Hewitt to do a voice over with your entry. In any case, have fun and good luck.
Mike lip read take 1
“hello all, I may look uncomfortable tonight due to testing out my new, “Havana walk-around-Buttplug.”. You see here is the new model. Looks like a fine cigar. Great for the office or trips to the mall. Just cram that bad boy in and off you go. Pleasure, style, and comfort as well. They come in slim and extra large depending on years in prison. … Well I am off to buy some hair products, don’t worry I will have the all new Havana Buttplug deposited for the ride”. Toodles
haha to funny. Great Idea Walt, I’m not entering this contest (Shocker!!!) as I’m lucky enough to have one of these Awesome Humis. I can’t wait to read more
Meow… I like cats. My hair is the reason why I cant fly. I smoke cigars for the felines and I wish more would follow me on twitter.
We are smoking a wonderful bundle stick that I won on Cbid for 1 penny. Did I tell you I like cats? Ok lets gone on with the review. I love the way this cigar makes me feel. Sitting here in my 1980 lazy boy. Like the King of any castle I speak to the animals about my smoking experience. Please understand that cats are my passion and smoking cigars t is just to impress them with my magical smoke.
There is more but I have to get back to work
Hi My name is Mike… and I’d like to tell you a story
When you lip read, you don’t get the whole story
When you don’t get the whole story, you buy bad cigars
When you buy bad cigars, you get flavorless cigars
When you smoke flavorless cigars, you feel like a schmuck and go to Happy Hour…
Pause (scene cut)
I feel like a schmuck
I bought this cigar from a guy at Happy Hour
Before I went to a Turkish Bath-house
And met Charlie Sheen..
When I met Charlie sheen, he wanted to re-enact scenes from Platoon.
I didn’t WANT to re-enact scenes from platoon, I told him I wanted to re-enact scenes from Hot Shots or Major League..
He said Ok, as long as he still gets the girl in the end…
Most red-blooded men would have scoffed at such a proposition, but not I.
I thought I could best him in the deal, and asked if we could use stunt doubles.
Charlie Sheen said sure – fine, no problem…
In the end, I found myself back at the Turkish bath-house..
With Charlie Sheen’s stunt double…
Don’t get stuck with Emilio Estevez, don’t lip read, and don’t buy cigars at Happy Hour… buy premium cigars from your local Tobacconist…
Hey Mike, Its a great cigar review would be like in the early 1900’s. I enjoyed buddy………..
Come on guys…where’s the content?
Do you need another contributor?
I’ve got a fat ass..I’ve got a real fat ass…I noticed it when I was walking…Enough about me,,don’t stick a cigar in your ass..really, don’t do it!,,believe me…Now onto the cigar..It tastes like ass,,spicy ass..That may not be a good thing but at $25 a bundle I’m gonna smoke it anyway..Shit the clock went off,,double shit,,so did my phone…Dont know if you can hear the fish tank ???Damn I wish this thing would auto focus
Please for the love of all things cigars…I need better content than this. You are forcing me to watch that retard over at the TikiBar. LOL.
Wait, I will make the fish tank noise!!!!!!!!!
God forbid he unplugs the thing before he shoots a video! LOL
Blah, blah, blah, blah, wife’s chair, blah blah blah cheap smokes. Woody taste ( clock chimes ) until next time..
I have gas…way too fucking much gas…
Brown gives me a woody,
Bleep it,
People find out that kind of shit,
I can’t go out at night,
Not good, really, truth, go figure.
Ooh, umm it’s poohy, or like just stale piss, fermented with light pepper…
I prefer shorts, stained, asshole puckered,
Booty shorts tight,
It’s bitchin, fuckin ay.
Most of the time I bring em back to my apartment…
And I push em hard, and tell them it’s time to blow,
they say okay.. It really doesn’t matter to me,
It’s about getting another piece
I’m always pleased afterwards, want a full bodied cigar and
think about this whole point of orifice –
cigar relationship. and it make you feel good.
That was hot.
And wet, and I fell down.
I like hoarding.
Break it! If you break it you buy it.
Or maybe not.
Oops. Excuse me.
Over here. Now I stare at the camera.
That was special for me. Okay, people.
What would Jesus do? What would he?
More “something.” More thumpin’.
Am I hot?
Wake the cash cow; wake the cash cow, a full bag of weed.
I hate freakin’ cats, dogs, . . . owls.
Most woodland creatures . . . hyenas, bats, you watch them.
Okay, that went out.
This review might have worked better in black and white along without the sound…
Hi – Hi! We’re your Weather Girls – Ah-huh …Hey, only joking it’s me… Mike!
And have we got news for you – You better listen!
Get ready, all you lonely girls (or guys…this is for Hewitt)
and leave those umbrellas at home. – Alright! –
Humidity is rising – Barometer’s getting low
According to all sources, the street’s the place to go
Cause tonight for the first time
Just about half-past ten
For the first time in history
It’s gonna start raining men.
It’s Raining Men! Hallelujah! – It’s Raining Men! Amen!
I’m gonna go out to run and let myself get
Absolutely soaking wet!
It’s Raining Men! Hallelujah!
It’s Raining Men! Every Specimen!
Tall, blonde, dark and lean
Rough and tough and strong and mean
God bless Mother Nature, she’s a single woman too
She took off to heaven and she did what she had to do
She taught every angel to rearrange the sky
So that each and every woman could find her perfect guy
It’s Raining Men! Hallelujah! – It’s Raining Men! Amen!
It’s Raining Men! Hallelujah!
It’s Raining Men! Ame———nnnn!
I feel stormy weather / Moving in about to begin
Hear the thunder / Don’t you lose your head
Rip off the roof and stay in bed
God bless Mother Nature, she’s a single woman too
She took off to heaven and she did what she had to do
She taught every angel to rearrange the sky
So that each and every woman could find her perfect guy
It’s Raining Men! Yeah!
Humidity is rising – Barometer’s getting low
According to all sources, the street’s the place to go
Cause tonight for the first time
Just about half-past ten
For the first time in history
It’s gonna start raining men.
It’s Raining Men! Hallelujah! – It’s Raining Men! Amen!
It’s Raining Men! Hallelujah! – It’s Raining Men!
F**k me, I’m sure the video ended a long time ago!
This is what I’m down to now since they caught me moonlighting on the stogie411 show. Walt said if I quit now I can have my voice back. Hopefully you all understand. Oh about the cigar I’m holding, well I threw it up there to make believe I’m actually conducting a review. Besides how the hell will Walt know anyways (lol).
So who won?
Our winner is John T.
Since this contest was all about Mike, I put him on the spot and had him pick a winner.
Thanks for entering
I’m humbled… unfortunately, this will feed my home-brewed comedy routine, of which my wife is not a fan…