Photo Credit: Bryan Glynn of BG Pictures and Cigar Obsession
Dear Stogie Review,
I write this to inform you that you seem to be making a grave mistake when it comes to cigars. It is not often I spent time here, but every time I do, I find myself disgusted. The idea that you smoke your cigars for mere enjoyment is absurd!
By your camaraderie and good natured fun, you are killing the seed which I have taken great care to sow. That seed was intended to grow into a mighty tree which stood, proud, as a symbol of sophistication. From atop that tree I, and those like me, would look down upon you, and those like you, while you make a pitiful attempt to portray the past time of cigars as one within reach of the average Joe.
Every day after spending a grueling six hours behind my mighty Bubinga desk, I travel to my local tobacconist. It is here that the real work starts. In my three piece silk suite, I enter the humidor to find one of the few cigars worth smoking, one which you most likely could not afford. At this point I seat myself near the display window so that all those passing by will drink in my magnificence.
As I read my high society magazine, I take great care to ensure my cigar is always at the proper angle for all to see clearly. Between puffs, I place my cigar in the ashtray, again taking great care to display my band proudly, I sip upon a cup of tea. As I sip, I extend my pinky-finger diligently to once again display my sophistication.
After forty-minutes of sheer bliss, I rise from my comfortable chair to retrieve my cane and polish my monocle. I stride out the door only to return tomorrow, where I will once again display the grace and sophistication that is cigar smoking.
The puprose of this letter is to give you a peak at what cigar smoking is all about. We smoke cigars so that we can influence those beneath us. By making this elegant past time accessible to the average Joe, you do nothing but destroy the hard work and dedication of great men. If you continue on with your quest of making this pure past time of cigars for the every-man, please know that you will never find yourself in a position of pure bliss. You will never achieve what we true cigar smokers have.
Good day Sirs,
Louis Winthorpe III
The only kind of cigar smoker which matters
The letter you have just read is a piece of fiction. It was written in an attempt to get your blood to rise to a simmer while making you think about all of the reasons you smoke cigars. I would like you to draft a reply to this fictional character explaining why you smoke cigars.
We would like to use the responses we receive in a future article, so please try to keep yourself under control and not respond with a series of expletives. We will select a few of the well spoken responses and include them in the above mentioned future post.
If I managed to get your blood pressure up, I apologize. Take that frustration and battle back at this fictional individual in a respectable and well spoken manner.