Another Final Goodbye

Personal66 Comments on Another Final Goodbye

Another Final Goodbye

I must have stopped and started this post a million times. The particulars don’t matter too much. I learned when we lost the Little Robusto that the “if’s” and “why’s” can drive you mad. My older brother died this past weekend. He was four years older than me which came in handy my high school years. He was there when I was a freshman (he a seasoned senior) giving me pointers on how to ask a girl to homecoming and later helping pick out what to wear and the whole corsage thing. He was there when my high school girlfriend and I broke up. We looked a lot a like back then so he ‘lost’ his license when I was 17 and he was 21. He was there when I got married. He was there when the Little Robusto was born and he was there to carry his casket. He was there to share in the joy of the birth of my Petite Corona, later becoming her God Father. He was just always there.

Simpler times

Chris was responsible for my introduction into cigars so you can say he was part of the foundation to the start of The Stogie Review. Back then in the late 1990’s, when he first introduced me to cigars he was a big fan of the Rocky Patel Vintage 1992 and later the La Aurora Ruby Preferidos. As we got older, the usual commitments of life made enjoying a cigar together rare. We kept putting it off. The last time we shared a cigar was when my Uncle Charlie passed away back in October. We both smoked cigars that I had blended at Joya de Nicaragua during Cigar Safari earlier in the summer. We watched as our kids played together in my parent’s backyard and we both said how too much time passes between seeing each other and both promising to do better.

I was going through photo albums at my parents house so that Michelle could maybe put together a collage of my brother. I remembered after high school he took a trip home to Chi Chi Jima and thought those pictures would be perfect for the collage. I picked up my phone and started texting him to ask if he knew where they were. I typed a halfdozen words…and I paused. Thats when it hit me. The son, the father, the husband and my brother that was always there, always around…isn’t anymore.

When you light up today, tomorrow, this weekend…do me a favor? Tip your ash for those that we have lost. May they find the peace that they couldn’t find here. For me, like with The Little Robusto, cigars can be a band aid.

66 thoughts on “Another Final Goodbye

  1. Jerry, my thoughts are with you at this time. You have been through a lot over these past years, just know you have lots of friends that are there for you. Take care buddy.

  2. Jerry, I am sorry for your loss. I will take time for a slow and reflective smoke today in honor of your brother.

  3. My heart felt condolences for your families loss especially the little ones. I envision you being an awesome Uncle and will be a part of their lives guiding them as your brother did you. I will definitely tip my ash for him!

  4. Words can’t express how sorry I am that you have to go through this. Be thankful that you are blessed with countless friends and family that are by your side, even when they’re not physically there. I will smoke in Chris’s honor today.

  5. Brother, you and your family are in our thoughts and our
    prayers. I pray also that peace will find all of you and give your
    strength while you mourn and remember. For what it’s worth, my
    faith tells me that we will see those we love again. I believe
    that. I will be lighting up a cigar later to honor your brother and
    to recognize your great loss. Peace my friend. Mango

  6. Jerry, condolences, thoughts and prayers anew with you and yours. A slow smoked ash will be tipped as requested today. Stay strong. Beautiful tribute!

  7. My condolences to you and your family. I’m sure you have so many good memories to look back upon, that they will help carry you through these hard times.

    Shing

  8. Jerry – I’m sure your brother would be awfully proud of you and the loving tribute you wrote. Losing a loved one is never easy, but he’ll live on in the memories he left behind.

  9. I lost my father on February 1st and I can’t wait until its warm enough to take a folding chair to his grave site and just sit with him for a smoke. For sure it will be a My Father 2010 Limited Edition along with a bottle of Crown Royal. My dad did not smoke cigars and I am decidedly a single malt guy but without fail, he was a Crown Royal guy from the very beginning. My mom used the royal blue bags as her change purse.

    Although my dad was not a cigar smoker (Kool’s menthol) and I am decidedly a single malt guy, a My Father and some Crown Royal seem very appropriate.

    So my condolences and blessings to you and your family. To echo your sentiment, my fellow aficionados, please heed these words. “You can measure your worth by who has time for YOU. So WHO do you have time for”?

  10. Sorry for your loss, Jerry. My prayers are with you and your family. My next cigar will be in honor of your loving brother.

  11. Words can’t express how sorry I am, Jerry. But I will do two things for you: I will light up my favorite cigar in Chris’ honor, and I will pray for you and your family, particularly his wife and kids.

    May God be your comfort and strength during this season of sorrow.

    Nate

  12. As I write this I tip my ash in your brothers honor. My deepest condolences to you and your family Jerry.

    I know words don’t hold much weight during times like these……some people say that God only gives us as much as we can handle and you have done some serious heavy lifting my friend. Please know that we all walk with you today Jerry and pray that in some small way we might help you lighten this load by letting you know we care.

    We love you brother.

  13. Beautiful tribute Jerry. So sorry for your loss. I will definitely tip an ash tomorrow in his memory, and pray for strength for you and your family.

  14. Well said Jerry. I’ve got two brothers and we’re really close. I hate the thought of losing one.
    Condolences to you and yours.

  15. Jerry, my condolences to you and your family during this
    very difficult time. I think I can speak for a lot of people to let
    you know that the extended cigar community is here for you during
    this period and beyond. Coop

  16. I’m sorry to hear the sad new. The next cigar I’m smoked that I’ll tip A-Long-“F”-Ash as a rememberance of them.

  17. Jerry, I never knew you were a writer at heart;) this was a
    beautiful post. You MUST find a picture of you guys in high school
    and show me because I don’t believe u guys looked alike;) thinking
    of you and your fam… Love, Liza & Rich

  18. So, so saddened to learn this, Jerry. May you and your
    family find the strength, peace, and hope you need. If there is
    anything we can do for you… God bless. ~R

  19. Jerry, Chris and I were friends in grade school. Chris was
    awesome. I am so sad to hear this. I will pray for him and your
    family.

  20. After years of reading your posts and watching your videos, I feel like I know you. I am moved by your loss, much more than I would have expected. Thank you for sharing your life with us. We are blessed for the experience. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

  21. Dear Jerry, our thoughts and prayers are with you and your
    family. May the Lord guide you and keep you warm in these moments.
    May his light shine your Brother Chris into peaceful spirit. Loving
    Ashes & Blessings.

  22. I’m sorry for your loss Jerry. Thoughts and prayers to you and your family. So many good memories to always cherish.

  23. Jerry, I am very sorry. I offer my condolences to you and your family.
    This might be odd to say now, I live in G’burg perhaps we can enjoy a smoke together one day.

  24. Jerry, I have a younger brother, and I can relate to your
    stories from the opposite side. We went to the same high school,
    same college, and I introduced him to cigars and pipes. Your story
    brought a tear to my eye. I will call my brother today.

  25. Jerry,
    I’m so sorry for your loss. Unfortunately, I can relate all too well. Last year, I lost my brother in a car accident in mid-April. I introduced him to cigars and we always enjoyed smoking together, which really laid the foundation for many of the awesome times we spent together talking about life, girls, worthless jobs, hilarious pranks, or just the world in general. A lot of your stories and strength in the face of hardship served as inspiration to me here as I followed your posts on this website. I pray for strength and healing for you and your family.

  26. Jerry all though we have never met I consider you my friend, and I can’t imagine what you are dealing with at this time in your life, if there is anything I can do please let me know. One thing that always gives me some comfort is the thought that God never closes a window without opening a door…

    God bless you and your family

    Corey

  27. Jerry, I’m so sorry for your loss. you and your brother will be in my prayers and a cigar will be smoked in his memory. I don’t know you and you have absolutely no idea who I am but reading this article has really moved me and made me realize how short of a time we have with our loved ones and friends. God Bless

  28. Jerry my deepest sympathy goes out to you and your family. Someone told me at a moment of personal grief that our lost is god’s gain, and the pain we feel is multiplied by his happiness of seeing his son back at his side. May you find comfort in our fathers words and peace on your wonderful memories together.

  29. You, your brother, the little robusto, and your wholfe family are in my prayers brother. My condolences on your loss.

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