With something a little different in the works for this weeks review, I’m going to need to delay it for a couple of days. In its place, I thought it would be interesting to pose a situation for the readers of Stogie Review to respond to. Its sort of like our Daily Cigar Discussion on the forums, but this one will remain open.
Imagine if you will, you wake up at 7:00 AM on a beautiful Saturday morning. The sun is shining, birds are singing, and the weather is perfect. As you leave your bedroom, you realize that your house is very quite. You understand why when you find a note on your kitchen table from your significant other.
Hunny,
I took the kids out with me today to visit my parents. I know you’ve had a long week at work so I wanted you to be able to relax and enjoy the morning. I’ve set out a few things for you out on the patio, I hope you enjoy them.Love,
Your significant other
As you walk out onto your patio you find a few things laid out for you on the table. There is a piping hot cup of coffe (just the way you like it), the morning newspaper, and a small travel humidor. Attached ot the top of the humidor is a small post it note that says “choose your cigar wisely, love you :)”.
You open the box to find five cigars, one of which you will fire up while reading the paper and enjoying a cup of coffee.
The cigars include:
- Fuente Fuente Opus X
- La Flor Dominicana Double Ligero Chisel
- Tatuaje Cojonu 2006
- El Cobre
- Camacho Triple Maduro
I think I’d go with the Triple M
The Tat is just too much horsepower for me (as the first stick of the day) The LFD I’m not super fond of, but would be my second choice, and I’m probably one of only a handful of people that doesn’t really like the El Cobre, so it comes in last…
The opus… depending on its size and age, could be number one. But a fresh power ranger would definitely be a no-go.
The Camacho would go nice with the morning brew, and wouldn’t give me nicotine poisoning….assuming its not the 6×60! For some reason it has never struck me as a particularly strong cigar.
I enjoy 4 out of the 5…so other than the ELC, I’m basing this solely on strength.
(I like to think the wifey would be more merciful than this, and throw in a nice Connie)
Wow, those are some full bodied choices for early in the morning. I haven’t had the El Cobre, so I wouldn’t hit that first thing. I love the La Flor, but not without something on the stomach. Of the 3 left, I would have to go with the Tat Cojonu 06. It is a great burn and I think it would set the day off just right.
I would have a few questions first, seeing as I had just woken up in some bizarre unfamiliar dimension.
Like.
1. Since when has my significant other been okay with me smoking?
2. When the fuck did we have kids?!?!
3. Why does she want me to freeze my balls off on the patio at 7am in the middle of god damned winter?
4. When the hell did we get a patio.
5. Why, in the name of all that is good and holy, am I doing up at 7 in the morning?
I would go with either the La Flor or Camacho, as I think they go together very well with a nice cup of coffee.
But I would have to wonder why she said “choose your cigar wisely.” That would make me very suspicious. I would probably call her and ask what the hell she meant by it.
And obviously, in this weir parallel dimension, I would be paranoid as all hell.
…is someone trying to kill me?
Opus x, my favorite out of the bunch.
The TM, followed by the El Cobre. Both just great rich cigars. Then I’d have the Tat. I don’t care for the opus or LFD.
I have not had any of these cigars, so I would pick the OpusX just because of the hype surrounding it.
Schendel brings up some very good points. At 8:00 in my locale it’s still 31 degrees outside–I’m not going outside to smoke with that temperature no matter what the cigar!
Were I still back in SoCal and the morning temperature were a little more decent for smoking, I would probably choose the LFD, just based on the fact that of the ones on your list that I’ve had before, it’s my favorite.
Honestly, though, I don’t think any of these would qualify for good morning cigars before you’ve had something to eat–they’re all way too powerful.
I am so with Schedel in every one of his thoughts here. I thought either Walt has the best wife in the world or the most overactive imagination ever; one that refuses to deal with reality, cause nothing in this scenario is ever going to happen.
But being a good sport I would smoke that Tat (and wonder the whole time if my wife laced it with poison!) . At least I would die happy.
I’d probably go with the El Cobre. I’ve never had a Triple Maduro, but the others would just be too strong for me to start off the day. Plus, I’d be wondering why this travel humidor. Are we going somewhere? Am I being sent off by myself somewhere with these extra cigars? Am I going to get locked in a room with no food after I smoke one of these?
The Tatuaje. No question.
I’ve paired it with a coffee before, and I loved every second of it.
I go with the chisel…always wanted to smoke one of those.
I’d go with that Tatuaje. The others on the list are powerhouses of a smoke.
I’d go straight to my divorce lawyer, arrange for a Private Detective to provide 24 hour surveillance, and buy a GPS sensor so I could do some real-time wife-tracking on my iPhone myself. I’d have to go by the bank first for a Cashier’s Check for the Lawyer’s $5000 escrow fund and give him the travel humidor with four sticks still in it to sweeten the deal for him.
I would drive off, happily smoking the El Cobre, secure in the knowledge that I had all my options covered. Then I’d call Ben on the way home and ask him to send his sister, Griselda, over for the weekend.
I love the La Flor Dominicana Double Ligero Chisel especially if it’s the maduro version. But since it being maduro was not mentioned, and the fact it can be a little heavy for a morning smoke. I would go with the Camacho Triple Maduro … It still has that punch, it will not be overwhelming, it’s maduro and would pair perfectly with my coffee.
I would pick up the Opus X, these have never knocked me over from the nicotine, but a few of the others have. Plus I like the Opus more than the others.
Obviously my wife wants to kill me, so none. 🙂 Truthfully though, I have a fairly high nicotine tolerance, so I could probably handle any of them first thing in the morning, but I doubt I’d want to. If those were my choices though, I’d probably go with the Tat, because I don’t care for the pairing of Opus and coffee.
Camacho TM all the way. Tatty second and the opus x 3rd. Nicotine doe not really hit me much so strength would be no issue for me.
ps. The sky would fall before my wife did something like this, plus pick out a fiver of good smokes. I would prolly look for the laser dot on my forehead if this ever happened and run the hell back inside
I’d go with the Camacho Triple Maduro–nice and sweet, with great coffee flavors and a nice charcoal aroma–and it pairs great with most coffee. The Tatuaje is a very close second, but a little too challenging/complex for my morning smoke.
The Opus X and the LFD would be way too strong for my tastes that early in the day. The El Cobre leaves me a little cold, so it’s at the bottom of my list.
I’d smoke em all back to back and reminisce about my marriage, because obviously in this scenerio my marriage would definitely have to be over.
Guys,
The comments have been fantastic, keep em’ coming!
I couldn’t ever see my wife doing this for me, but it creates an interesting scenario. Each and every stick in the lineup has far too much horsepower for me to be smoking in the morning, but having to choose I would go with the Camacho Triple Maduro.
I think I stand the best chance at being okay after smoking it so early in the monring, the rest would probably make me ill and riun the rest of my day.
Its interesting to see the variety of tolerance in the comments.
-Walt
I would assume that one of my wise ass friends put her up to this and grab an Ashton Cabinet from the humidor.
But if she triple-dog dared me I guess I’d opt for the Camacho, after dumping a whole bunch of sugar in my coffee.
I would probably go with the Camcho Triple Maduro to go with coffee. I think the LFD and Opus are too much spice for the morning especially on an empty stomach, however that would be 2 and 3. Never had an El Cobre (want to try one though), and not particularly impressed by the Tatuaje’s I’ve had so those would be a the the bottom.
These responses are hilarious.
I would ask my wife ‘What is his name and how long has it been going on?’
then i would ask if he paid for them. LOL
I would then smoke the Opus X as i cleaned my pistol.
If they were presented to me unbanded and I smoked any of these when i just woke up I’d literally shit my pants. I’ve been smoking for 2 years and these cigars on the list are just way out of my league right now for the morning.
If i were to fantasize about this also, I’d imagine there’d be a big, hearty breakfast on the kitchen table, and put my humi next to it with a 5 pack of la riqueza #2’s at the top.
id say El Cobre, or Opus X (if shes buying it) =P
probably enjoy a lighter wrapper in the morning with coffee-
so I guess my answer is I would throw them all in my box, drive out and buy a Montecristo White =D
Like Schedel, I’d have a couple of questions:
When the hell did I get married?
and
Why the hell would I smoke outside when I can kick back on my couch and light up?
I’d have to go with the TM, it’l go great with the coffee. Opus would come in second. The Tat and LFD would follow. I haven’t had an El Cobre yet, so it would be last.
I’d lock the door so they couldn’t come back in and smoke ’em all! (But how did coffee stay hot outside?)
The LFD. It’d remind me of being awakened by a galvanized trashcan being thrown into the room. YEAH BABY! TIME TO WAKE UP! 🙂
opus
I would grab the El Cobre first because I have never had one…
Wife: All right. Where is the poison? The battle of wits has begun. It ends when you decide and we both smoke, and find out who is right… and who is dead.
Me: But it’s so simple. All I have to do is divine from what I know of you: are you the sort of wife who would put the poison into her own cigar or your husband’s? Now, a clever wife would put the poison into her own cigar, because she would know that only a great fool would reach for what she was given. I am not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the cigar in front of you. But you must have known I was not a great fool, you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the cigar in front of me.
Wife: You’ve made your decision then?
Me: Not remotely. Because iocane comes from Australia, as everyone knows, and Australia is entirely peopled with criminals, and criminals are used to having people not trust them, as you are not trusted by me, so I can clearly not choose the cigar in front of you.
Wife: Truly, you have a dizzying intellect.
Me: Wait ’til I get going! Now, where was I?
Wife: Australia.
Me: Yes, Australia. And you must have suspected I would have known the powder’s origin, so I can clearly not choose the cigar in front of me.
Wife: You’re just stalling now.
Me: You’d like to think that, wouldn’t you? You’ve beaten my giant, which means you’re exceptionally strong, so you could’ve put the poison in your own cigar, trusting on your strength to save you, so I can clearly not choose the cigar in front of you. But, you’ve also bested my Spaniard, which means you must have studied, and in studying you must have learned that man is mortal, so you would have put the poison as far from yourself as possible, so I can clearly not choose the cigar in front of me.
Wife: You’re trying to trick me into giving away something. It won’t work.
Me: IT HAS WORKED! YOU’VE GIVEN EVERYTHING AWAY! I KNOW WHERE THE POISON IS!
Wife: Then make your choice.
Me: I will, and I choose – What in the world can that be? [I gesture up and away from the table. Wife looks over her shoulder. I swap the cigars.]
Wife: What? Where? I don’t see anything.
Me: Well, I- I could have sworn I saw something. No matter.First, let’s smoke. Me from my cigar, and you from yours.
We smoke…
Wife: You guessed wrong.
Me: You only think I guessed wrong! That’s what’s so funny! I switched cigars when your back was turned! Ha ha! You fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders! The most famous is never get involved in a land war in Asia, but only slightly less well-known is this: never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha…
damn I can’t believe you just quoted the Princess Bride 😉
My first thought would be wtf – dollars to donuts she’s bringing her fuggin parents back with her. My second thought would be I got to get the hell out of here. I’d down the coffee, grab the paper and Triple Maduro, and write my own note:
Thanks Babe – Wow – What an unexpected surprise! called, and I’m going over there to help him with . Call me when you get home. Your amazing – love you!
take the triple maduro- its the lightest but not bad flavor for the mornin
I’d go for the Opus, I’ve never had a chance to try one!